Special T series
by Lintu68
Summary: A series of short conversations with a twist.
1. Special Treat

_Summary: A very short conversation between our favorite bounty hunters._

**

* * *

****Special Treat**

"Open wide Babe."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, open up, you have to take all of it in your mouth."

"But it's too big. It won't fit."

"You flatter me. Open up."

"Fine."

"What do you think Babe?"

"Mmm mmm."

"You have no idea how much I enjoy seeing you do that."

"Mmm mmm"

"Christ Babe."

"Oh my God, this is really fun."

"Told you it would be."

"I never knew it could be this good."

"It's my special sauce, it's better than most others"

"Uh huh, mmm… It's a lot better than anyone's I've ever tasted. Although I'm not that experienced, I haven't had that many."

"That's okay Babe, you're doing great."

"I could see myself doing this more often now that I've gotten a taste for it."

"There's nothing I'd want more in this world, Babe."

"Thanks Ranger, the salad was great."

"Anytime Babe."


	2. Special Trick

_Stand-alone companion piece to 'Special Treat'. Another conversation between our favorite bounty hunters._

**Special Trick**

"Holy shit Ranger, you can't put it there!"

"Where am I supposed to put it?"

"Any other place than that, that's definitely the wrong hole."

"I didn't know there was such a thing as the wrong hole."

"That's an out-hole. Things aren't supposed to go in there."

"How do you know if you've never tried?"

"I just know."

"Babe."

"Don't look at me like that. I don't feel comfortable doing this."

"You're going to regret it if you don't do it."

"I highly doubt that."

"You'd really like it. It's amazing."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"That's disgusting."

"I think you're turned on by the fact that I've done it."

"Bite me Ranger."

"Oh, come on Babe. Tell me honestly you've never thought about it."

"I haven't."

"Everyone's thought about it at some point."

"Not me."

"Your nose gets that cute crinkle when you lie."

"So I've thought about. Big deal. Happy now?"

"Yes, I am. Sure you don't want to try? Just once?"

"I'm positive. And my nose doesn't _crinkle_."

"Please, Babe."

"Don't ask me to do this; you know I'm a sucker for you asking nicely."

"Babe, just one time. For me. Please."

"Again with the please…Fuck, I can't believe I'm going to do this."

"I love you Babe."

"You're going to have to prove it to me after this."

"Gladly. You ready?"

"I think so."

"Come on then, press against it."

"Oh my God, it will never fit inside."

"It will fit, try again."

"It's too tight."

"You're not trying Babe."

"Maybe we need some Vaseline?"

"Just push, will you."

"Holy crap, it actually went inside."

"See, I told you it would be fun."

"What happens now."

"Now we wait."

"For what?"

"We wait for Vinnie to start his car and watch his face as that potato shoots out of its tailpipe."

"You sure this is a good idea with my car karma?"

"Relax, it won't blow up. And besides, what's a little Trick-or-treating without some excitement?"


	3. Special Twist

**Special Twist**

"I'm sorry Babe. This has never happened to me before."

"It's okay honey, really. Don't worry."

"No, it's not okay."

"Come on; don't let this threaten your manhood"

"I don't know what happened."

"Relax. Maybe it's just stress."

"I'm so embarrassed."

"Ranger, honey, don't think about it. I didn't really want it anyway."

"Babe, you always want some."

"I'd be perfectly happy with just lying here, having you hold me."

"I promise to fix this."

"You going to get those little blue ones?"

"If that's what it takes."

"You're so brave. What if someone sees you buy them?"

"It's not possible for me to feel any more embarrassed than I already am…"

"Come on, it happens to other people all the time."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Did Morelli ever have trouble delivering?"

"It happened to Morelli at least a dozen times."

"Now _that _makes me feel better."

"I told you it wasn't a big deal."

"So you forgive me then?"

"Yes I forgive you."

"I promise to never forget to buy you ice cream again. And I'll even get you the blue sprinkles next time."

"Thank you Ranger, I love you."

"I love you too, Babe."


	4. Special Taste

**Special Taste**

"You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. I've always wondered what it tastes like."

"I hear it's kind of salty."

"Have you actually tasted it? I thought you didn't do stuff like that."

"Babe. I haven't tasted it. I don't swing that way."

"Sorry, had to make sure."

"You want to do this anytime soon?"

"I'm preparing mentally."

"Babe…"

"You just do your thing and when you're ready I'll take it in my mouth."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Will I have to suck on it before anything comes out?"

"I'd think so."

"You about done soon?"

"Give me a sec."

"Come on, it's not exactly brain surgery. How hard can it be to get off?"

"If you'd stop distracting me I'd be done a lot quicker."

"I'm sorry. Shutting up now."

"Okay, I'm almost there now."

"Wait, let me get closer."

"Okay, take it and suck on it."

"Mmm…"

"So, what do you think?"

"You should really taste this, it's amazing."

"Babe, you know I don't eat seafood, I'm not going to suck on lobster legs with you."

"Your loss."


	5. Special Times

**Special Times**

"I can't believe you did that!"

"I'm sorry."

"Who actually does that?"

"I said I was sorry."

"Sorry's not gonna cut it Babe. You fell asleep, while we were…"

"I was tired!"

"That's not an excuse."

"I was tired because I'd already finished. Twice."

"I hadn't!"

"You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"It's not nothing to me!"

"Ranger, it's actually kind of funny."

"It's NOT funny."

"Are you really mad at me?"

"Yes!"

"Is there anything I can do to make it up for you?"

"How about NOT FALLING ASLEEP?"

"You really need to get over yourself. You're acting like you're God's gift to women. It's not that great you know."

"This is just getting worse and worse."

"Well, honestly, it was going to happen eventually."

"Are you saying that you falling asleep right in the middle of it was inevitable?"

"Well yes… I realize it sounds horrible, but I don't find laying puzzles all that interesting."


	6. Special Thing

**Special Thing**

"Show me yours and I'll show you mine."

"No way!"

"Come on Babe, it'll be fun."

"Dream on."

"You know you want to."

"No I don't."

"You're not the least bit curious about it?"

"Well…"

"Babe…"

"Is it big?"

"I'd say it's about ten inches long."

"Ten inches!?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh don't sound so smug about it."

"Ten inches long and two inches wide."

"Are you sure?"

"Babe."

"Right, stupid question, you probably go around measuring it every day. Probably one of those male things."

"Babe, I haven't measured it. I'm estimating."

"Okay, so now I want to see it. Do I have to show you mine?"

"Yes. Quid pro quo."

"What if I don't feel comfortable flashing my private parts to you?"

"That's your loss."

"It's not fair; you can just whip yours out anywhere. I have to take my pants off."

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

"We're on a stake-out, anyone could come by and look into the car."

"Look around, it's three in the morning, the street is deserted. No-one will see."

"Fine. You go first."

"Sure."

"Wow, it's beautiful. Can I touch it?"

"Of course."

"Your skin is so smooth."

"It feels really nice to have you touch me like that."

"Ranger…"

Your turn Babe."

"Hang on; I have to pull down my pants a bit."

"I'm getting all excited here."

"Very funny. There it is."

"Babe. It's the Batman symbol."

"I know."

"You were thinking of me when you got that tattoo."

"Yup, I even placed it on my hip, really close to a place I happen to know you like a lot."

"Only you, Babe."


	7. Special Title

**Special Title**

"How about Little Ricky?"

"I'm not going to name it something containing the word little."

"Not manly enough for you?"

"Babe."

"Russell the One-Eyed Wonder?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

"The Black Menace?"

"Better."

"The Rock?"

"Isn't that a person?"

"Yeah, sorry. My mind wanders sometimes."

"Stop daydreaming about other guys. Focus."

"Danger the One-Eyed Ranger?"

"What's with the one eye?"

"From a certain angle it kind of looks like that doesn't it?"

"I don't see it."

"You have lousy imagination. How about Sergeant Stiffy?"

"Come on; give me something to work with."

"Barry Baton?"

"No."

"Marshall the Miracle Worker?"

"No."

"Elias the Eight Wonder of the World?"

"No."

"Black Mamba?"

"No."

"Calvin the Conqueror?"

"No."

"Splattering Ram?"

"Babe…"

"I'm guessing that's a no… Nightcrawler?"

"Where do you come up with these?"

"It's a gift… Thrill Drill?"

"No."

" Vlad The Impaler?"

"No."

"Pocket Rocket?"

"No."

"Sunrise surprise?"

"Babe?"

"You usually use it in the dark… I thought it had a nice ring to it."

"Keep going."

"William the Viking Warrior."

"Viking? Christ Babe, I don't even look remotely like a Viking, why would I name it that?"

"I thought Vikings were really big and burly, and yours, my dear, is definitely big!"

"Nice…"

"Okay so a bit farfetched maybe…"

"Any other ideas?"

"I'm all out of ideas. Didn't you like any of them?"

"No, and I think this is a stupid thing to do anyway."

"Come on, it's tradition."

"No, it's tradition to name your rifle. Not something meant for close up action."

"Just humor me and pick a damn name for the knife already."


	8. Special Temptation

This one was a reject that I wrote months ago, but finally decided to post after all. I haven't done one of these in a while. :)

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**  
Special Temptation**

"Come on Cupcake, he won't mind."

"How can you say that?"

"It's just one time."

"Joe, I've made a commitment to him."

"Not even a kiss?"

"No, Joe. I can't"

"I won't tell him if you won't."

"It's wrong."

"Oh come on Cupcake. Let's do it."

"I don't know Joe, I'd feel so guilty."

"Think of the pleasure."

"I want to, I really do. I just can't help to feel like I'd be betraying Ranger in the worst possible way."

"That's a bit dramatic, isn't it?"

"It might be just a kiss for you, but for me it's a broken promise."

"Wow, I never knew you would be able to resist something this good."

"I know, I can't believe I'm saying no to you."

"The offer still stands Cupcake. Whenever you want some."

"Thanks Joe, but I told Ranger I was off sugar, and I'm keeping that promise. You can have that Hershey's kiss for yourself."


	9. Special Touch

_Thanks to Casey for the idea._

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**Special Touch**

"Oh god, it's so pretty and pink."

"Take a firm grip on it and squeeze gently."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, that's right. Now run your hand up and down it. And make sure to keep squeezing."

"How's this?"

"Oh Babe, that's great."

"It feels so smooth in my hand."

"I know. Now hold it just a little bit firmer."

"When is it going to come?"

"It takes a little while the first time, but once you get a hang of it, you'll make it come really quickly."

"It feels great in my hand."

"You're a natural, Babe. Now increase your pace a little, you're almost there. Can you feel it getting just a little bit harder as you squeeze?"

"Yeah, I can feel it."

"Okay, you're nearly there now, keep doing that."

"Holy shit! There's white stuff all over me!"

"You might want to point it at the bucket the next time."

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No babe, you just really cute with that stuff all over you. Want me to lick it off?"

"Ranger!"

"Sorry..."

"You're laughing at me. I finally make it come and you're laughing at me."

"I told you milking a cow would be fun."


End file.
